JUST FALL IN LOVE

So you know how people can give advice but then never follow advice? Well...Guess what??? Today I feel like making your lives much better by telling you not to fall into my mistakes.
So I have been dating a boy for a year, Awe<3 and only being seventeen I had been in a relationship where when it ended the guy decided to just treat my like crap and say all these horrible things about me. it hurt me so much that I just grew distant from everyone else. About eight months of being a social outcast I met a boy from a different school and then we fell in love....But there were a few problems, He was a senior, and I have anxiety problems, which meant a lot of things scared me. So I tried convincing him I didn't want to be in a relationship and I continued to push him away. A couple weeks later he told me to give him a chance and I just thought I will keep my guard up and hope that it'll only be for a couple months. But it was a mistake.
One year later I am crying in my bedroom because the greatest thing to ever happen in my life is going to college. In a year i have barely managed to ever explain any of my troubles with him. I keep hiding away, and that's a mistake. If you really truly like someone please you should maybe actually try to trust them. I had lost trust on guys because they used it against me to hurt me, but I know my boyfriend better than anything, and yet it is so hard.
I regret not letting him help me. We came to the boiling part where he told me he was fed up with me because I would transfer my sadness into anger and I would lash out. I regret this because I know how much harder it'll be for him to help me. 
So here is my advice...If you are going to fall in love, fall in love. But you don't have to rush it.  Go on dates and see if the person is right for you. You should be able to trust the person and I trust mine, but I let fear control my life. 
I want you to be safe and to not feel afraid that the other person will ruin your life and hurt you. You shouldn't have to. I want you to be happy. So if you want to be in a relationship then put yourself out there and don't be afraid to fall in love, because I held back and now I am risking everything. Don't be a me.